Consumed

and oh so lost in my own thoughts.

My mind is constantly running, and without my ipod I cannot sleep (I lost my ipod somewhere around my 'room' on Friday). I smoked today and slept all day. Don't remember much. What a wasted day. I feel like I've dug myself in a deeper whole with only myself to blame. I've gone back on my own word. And because of that I'm more of a mess than I was before. I need something, some motivation, some guidance, a push of some sort to get my head straight and my shit together. 2 months until I turn 18, and nowhere near acting like it. I'm more irresponsible than I was when I was 16 (I'm pretty fucking sure). High school is almost over and I've let myself fall into becoming this person I'm sure I'd surely hate if I knew. I'm not sure where it started but I just stopped caring. I'm completely confused on what I want in life, or what I want now. I might just be over thinking (like I always do) but I do know I need to organize my thoughts before I drive myself insane.

ps: I've grown tired of these people. Fucking idiots. I can see right through them. They're all the same: immature, dishonest, hypocritical, annoying and extremely fucking fake.

Honestly, if I ever become just like them KILL ME.


*sigh* possibly the most ranting I've done in a while.